Al-Ghuloo (Extremism) and Shiddah (Harshness)


Al-Ghuloo (Extremism) and Shiddah (Harshness)
by:
Shaykh Abdullaah al-Ghudyaanحفظه الله
Delivered on: Saturday July 1st, 2006

Introduction to the Shaykh
Our Noble Shaykh حفظه الله is a member of Council of Senior Scholars, and a member of the Permanent Council for Fataawa and Research.
Transcription of the Translation of the Lecture
The Shaykh حفظه الله تعالى began by praising Allaah سبحانه وتعالى the Lord of everything that exists and its Sustainer, and by sending peace and blessings, salutations upon the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم and upon his Companions and his family.
To proceed:
The topic for tonight is dealing with الرفق (ar-Rifq) or gentleness and softness while giving da’wah, and warning from extremism and being harsh.
The Shaykh حفظه الله went on to say that ar-Rifq, which we are going to translate as ‘being gentle’, is to be soft in your speech and your actions, and to do that which is easier, and it is the opposite of harshness, or being hard. Ar-Rifq or gentleness, is praiseworthy and that which opposes it is being harsh, and being harsh is the result of anger. So being soft and gentle is also the result of good character. And it possible that the reason for the حدة (Hiddah) that one has (being sharp, being harsh, and being angry) could be that he is not thinking properly, and it prevents him from التثبت (at-tathabbut) or being firm in his affair.
Then the Shaykh حفظه الله said again, that being gentle is الثمر (ath-thamara), it is a fruit that comes from good character, and good character does not come to one unless he is able to control his anger, and control his emotions, and his harshness. For this reason, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم praised gentleness, and likewise Sufyaan ath-Thawri رحمه الله تعالى said to some of his companions, “Do you know what wisdom is? Wisdom is to put everything in its proper place – to put harshness in its proper place, to put gentleness in its proper place, to put the sword in its proper place, and to put the stick in its proper place.”
So, the Shaykh حفظه الله says here, that this is an indication to us that the praiseworthy thing is to be in the middle – to be in-between being very strict and hard, and being very gentle and very lenient, as it relates to all of the other characteristics. However, due to the fact that the human nature leans more towards harshness, and more towards being strong and hard, the necessity of encouraging the people to be gentle, is more so, and for this reason you find this plentiful in the Speech of Allaah سبحانه وتعالى and His Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم. The Shaykh حفظه الله said that after we translate this (which has just been done) he is going to bring the evidence that deals with this from the Qur’aan and the Sunnah.
Evidence from the Qur’aan for Being Gentle and Lenient when Calling to Allaah
The Shaykh حفظه الله went on to say that from the evidences that indicate the importance of gentleness, from the Qur’aan is the statement of Allaah سبحانه وتعالى where He says:

فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لاَنفَضُّواْ مِنْ حَوْلِكَ فَاعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الأَمْرِ فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللّهِ إِنَّ اللّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ

{And by the Mercy of Allaah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted,
they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allaah’s) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affairs.
Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allaah, certainly, Allaah loves those who put their trust (in Him).}
[Aali Imraan 3:159]

In this aayah we find clarification of the way that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to interact with his Companions, and in it is a clarification that Allaah سبحانه وتعالى placed رحمة (Rahmah) or mercy in the heart of the Messengerصلى الله عليه وسلم . As a result of this rahmah, there was lenience from the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and this was from the beautiful way that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to interact with his Companions. Allaah سبحانه وتعالىinformed him that if he had dealt with them in a harsh way, in a manner that was opposite or opposed to being merciful to them, then they would have run away from him. Even though there may be some things that came from the Companions that would make the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم displeased, or that which they may be criticized for, Allaah سبحانه وتعالى commands His Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم to deal with them in the following three ways:

1. The first thing is that he pardons them, العفو (al-`Afoo) is that he pardons them.
2. Secondly, that he seeks forgiveness for them.
3. And thirdly that he consult them in the affairs that it is possible that he consult them in.

So if he did these three things, then he has done that which Allaah سبحانه وتعالى commanded him with. This aayah, the Shaykh حفظه الله says, is a منهج (manhaj) or it is a methodology that every caller to Allaah سبحانه وتعالى must have so that he travels the path of justice in dealing with the people. He should not have to be إفراط (Ifraat), to be excessive, and extreme, and have harshness and be hardhearted when dealing with the people. We find this especially from those who make it their duty to make judgment upon the people.
Some of them judge that the one who has committed a major sin, they consider him to be a كافر (kaafir), or to be a disbeliever just like the الخوارج (Khawaarij) do. So they have with them excessiveness in their ruling. They attribute this to the Deen of Allaah سبحانه وتعالى and we find that they may be harsh, and they may even blow up things, and they attribute this to the Deen of Allaah سبحانه وتعالى and Islaam is free from that which they attribute to it. So the actions of the people are one thing and Islaam is another thing and their actions have to be considered as it relates to the text of Islaam.
Likewise we find from another group, they travel the path of التفريط (at-Tafreet) or being negligent, or being too soft, not caring about anything. These are the likes of the المرجئة (Murji’ah) who no matter what a person does, they do not consider him to be a disbeliever. They do not consider him to be outside of the fold of Islaam, no matter what type of sin he commits. This is what we have to say as it relates to the first evidence from the Qur’aan.
The Shaykh حفظه الله went on to say that from the evidences as well in the Qur’aan is the statement that Allaah سبحانه وتعالى made to Moosaa عليه سلام and his brother Haroon عليه سلامwhen He sent them to Fir’awn (Pharaoh). So Allaah سبحانه وتعالى said to them,

فَقُولَا لَهُ قَوْلًا لَّيِّنًا لَّعَلَّهُ يَتَذَكَّرُ أَوْ يَخْشَى

{“And speak to him mildly, perhaps he may accept admonition or fear Allaah.”} [Taa Haa 20:44]

The Shaykh حفظه الله then said that from that which is known, Fir’awn was from the greatest of those who transgressed against Allaah سبحانه وتعالى because he was one who claimed to have Lordship, he claimed to be الربّ (Ar-Rabb), he claimed to be a sustainer and a lord. As Fir’awn himself said:

مَا عَلِمْتُ لَكُم مِّنْ إِلَهٍ غَيْرِي

{… I know not that you have an ilaah (a god) other than me…} [al-Qasas 28:38]

This is what Fir’awn (Pharaoh) said. And he says about Moosaa عليه سلام when he (Moosaa عليه سلا) claimed that there is a Lord – Allaah:

وَإِنِّي لَأَظُنُّهُ مِنَ الْكَاذِبِينَ

{… “and verily, I think that he [Mûsa (Moses)] is one of the liars.”} [al-Qasas 28:38]

Even with all of this, Allaah سبحانه وتعالى sent to this man (Fir`awn), Moosaa عليه سلام and He sent to him Haroon عليه سلام. He ordered them to speak to him in a way that was gentle and which did not have harshness, with the hope that the result would be that this man would remember Allaah سبحانه وتعالى and therefore fear Him. However, he continued in his transgression against Allaah سبحانه وتعالى and so the result of his affair is that Allaah سبحانه وتعالى drowned him and all those who were upon his methodology.
Evidence from the Sunnah for Being Gentle and Lenient when Calling to Allaah
The Shaykh حفظه الله after mentioning these evidences from the Qur’aan, he went on to mention some evidences from the Sunnah that indicate the importance of being gentle. The first hadeeth is the hadeeth of `Aa’ishah رضي الله تعالى عنها who narrates that “There were some Jews who entered upon the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and they said to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم “Assaamu ‘alaykum” (may death be upon you). (The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم replied by saying “wa ‘alaykum [and upon you]) `Aa’ishah رضي الله عنها replied by saying “wa ‘alaykum, and upon you is the curse of Allaah and may His anger be upon you.” So when the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم heard this from `Aa’ishah رضي الله عنها he said to her: “Mahlan yaa `Aa’ishah (take it easy O `Aa’ishah) and beware of having harshness and being indecent” `Aa’ishah رضي الله عنها said to him: “Did you not hear what they said to you?” The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم replied to her: “And did you not hear what I said to them? I said ‘wa ‘alaykum’. I said and may it be upon you, and my du’aa will be answered and theirs will not.” [1]
So the Shaykh حفظه الله said that in this hadeeth there is an indication of how we are to interact with people who transgress and that is because the Muslim at many times he has to use the أسلوب (usloob) or the way of encouraging, or تَرْغِيْب (targheeb) (meaning: awakening of a desire‏, encouragement, or to instill a desire). And the Shaykh حفظه الله said that sometimes it may be that the Muslim has to use what is known as الترهيب (at-tarheeb) (to scare an individual). These are two different أساليب (Asaaleeb), or ways, that one would use.
Also, the Shaykh حفظه الله said that ‘Aa’ishah رضي الله عنها our mother, the mother of the believers, and the wife of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said in another hadeeth that “The Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه وسلم said that, “gentleness is not placed in anything except that it beautifies it and that it is not removed from anything except that it makes that thing ugly”.”[2]
The Shaykh حفظه الله said that in this second hadeeth is a clarification that the characteristics of gentleness – of being lenient – must constantly be with an individual. The individual must always have this; whether it is in his relationship with himself, his relationship with his Lord سبحانه وتعالى or his relationship with other people. We see that this hadeeth, Subhaanallaah, is very concise, and that is because Allaah سبحانه وتعالى indeed gave His Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم what is known as جوامع الكلم (Jawaamil-kalim) or the ability to say very few words that have a very profound meaning.
The Shaykh حفظه الله went on to say that in this hadeeth where it says that ar-Rifq (leniency) is not in شيءٍ (Shay’in) or “anything”… this word, “anything” (Shay’in) is an indefinite noun and it has come in what is known as سياق النهي (siyaaq-an-nahee) or in a negative context. Because he said that it is not put in anything. So, in the Arabic language when you have an indefinite noun that comes in a negative context, then it is that we benefit from it that this is something very general, that it is something all inclusive. And from another angle, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used a restrictive form or a restrictive language, which is known as حصر (hasr) so this proves to us, or this shows us – that the individual must use gentleness and leniency in all of his relationships. Likewise, in the last part of the hadeeth, where it says: …and it is not removed… (meaning gentleness, leniency) … is not removed from anything except that it makes that thing ugly. … likewise here, we have the same situation that we had previously: it is not removed from anything … where “anything” is an indefinite noun. It comes in the negative context, so what is benefited from it is that it is general and all inclusive. So the individual, any individual, if he does not use gentleness in his affairs then usually what we find is that the result of that affair will not be something that is praiseworthy, rather it is something that will be negative and evil, and Allaah سبحانه وتعالى knows best.
Evidence from the Sunnah for Being Gentle and Lenient when Ruling over the People
The Shaykh, حفظه الله said that the next hadeeth that we are going to deal with is also narrated by ‘Aa’ishah رضي الله تعالى عنها who said, “I heard the Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه وسلم say in this house of mine making this du’aa: ‘O Allaah, whoever is given the authority over my Ummah in anything, and he causes some adversity or he causes some hardship to them, then cause hardship for him. O Allaah, whoever from amongst this Ummah is responsible or is given authority over anything or over any part of my Ummah and he is gentle with them, then be gentle with him’.” [3]
This hadith indicates that everyone who is in a position of authority over the people should be gentle and lenient so that he can gain what the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم mentioned in this hadeeth. If he uses harshness, if he is hard, then the  duaa of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم will be against him. As the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said in that hadeeth: “whoever is difficult, whoever is hard in dealing with any part of my ummah that he is responsible for, then be hard upon him.” He makes this du’aa to Allaah سبحانه وتعالى. However, if he uses gentleness, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم made du’aa to Allaah سبحانه وتعالى for “the one who is gentle and lenient with those who he is responsible for, then O Allaah, be gentle and lenient with him.”
So whoever causes adversity to the people that are under his care, whoever is hard with those who he is responsible for, then Allaah سبحانه وتعالى will be hard with him. And that harshness from Allaah سبحانه وتعالى, that adversity that Allaah سبحانه وتعالى may inflict upon His servant may be in his body, it may relate to his body: it may be his sight, it may be his hearing or it may be upon his tongue. It may be that it relates to his financial situation. Or it may be that he is not given success to travel the straight path in that which he has been made responsible for.
Evidence from the Sunnah for Being Gentle and Lenient with Women
Likewise, from the evidences from the Sunnah that point to the importance of gentleness is that which Anas رضي الله تعالى عنه narrated when he said “the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was traveling on a journey, one of the people that was with him, one of his Companions in that journey – began to sing some poetry (to let the camels go fast). So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said to him: ‘Yaa Anjashah! Have lenience with the qawaariyyah, (the glass vessels) (referring to the women).” [4]
This hadeeth indicates to us the legislation of using ar-rifq (gentleness) with a particular group of people, and that group of people are the women. And that is because Allaah سبحانه وتعالى has given the men certain characteristics and has given the women other characteristics. From these characteristics is that a man has a lack of emotion and that women are more emotional. And that men have a stronger ability to be rational and the women have a weaker ability to be rational. Therefore the men should not deal with the female as he would deal with a male. Rather he should deal with her and he should interact with her according to her nature. Whether it is his wife, his daughter, his mother, his sister, his aunt, or any of his other female relatives, he has to deal with them with a degree of lenience and with a degree of gentleness that he would not use with the men.
The Benefits of Being Gentle and Lenient
Likewise from the evidences that point towards the legislation of using gentleness which has been established or affirmed on the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم on the authority of Abu ad-Dardaa’ رضي الله عنه who said that The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said that: “whoever has been given his share of gentleness or his portion of gentleness, then he has been given his share of good and whoever has been prevented his share of gentleness then indeed he has been prevented from his share of good.” [5] And on the authority of Jareer ibn ‘Abdillaah al-Bajalee رضي الله عنه who said, The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Whoever has been prevented from rifq (gentleness) has been prevented from all that is good” [6]
These two hadeeth point to two things: the first of them is that good results are in direct relation to gentleness. They are the result of gentleness. They are built upon gentleness, meaning that the one who is gentle and the one who has this characteristic will have good results. Likewise, evil effects or evil results are the results of the one who does not have these characteristics. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم mentioned in this hadeeth that gentleness results in good and that using the opposite of gentleness; whether you want to call it harshness, or being hard, or whatever – it brings about evil results. And from these two hadeeth we gain a general principle and that is that good results come from using ar-rifq or using gentleness and that evil results come from using harshness.
Evidence from the Sunnah for Gentleness and Leniency Between Family Members
Likewise, from the evidences is that which has been established on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah رضي الله تعالى عنها who said that: “The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, ‘O ‘Aa’ishah, be lenient. Indeed if Allaah wants for the people of a home to have goodness then he directs them to the باب (baab) or to the door of gentleness.” [7] In this hadeeth the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is drawing our attention to using gentleness and leniency between the members of a household. And this gentleness and leniency must be used even according to the differences that you may find between the members of one household. For example their gender differences – they may be males and females; or the differences related to their ages. So, you may have a father and a son, and there is a difference in age that may relate to the strength of their relationship between each other or the weakness of that relationship – meaning that some of the relatives might be closer than others in the same home. No matter what the situation may be and no matter what their differences may be; they have to be lenient with each other. And this will make the house be from the good houses. However if the primary interaction between the members of a particular household is that they hit one another, they curse one another, they speak evil to one another and the like, then this is the type of house that all blessings will be removed from.
Evidence from the Sunnah for Being Gentle and Lenient with Oneself in Regards to the Deen and Dunyaa
The Shaykh حفظه الله said that from the evidences as well, is that which has been narrated on the authority of `Abdullaah bin ‘Amr bin al-‘Aas رضي الله عنهما who said that: “The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was informed about him, that he said (meaning ‘Abdullaah bin ‘Amr): “I am going to stand the whole night and not sleep and I am going to fast everyday and not break my fast.” So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said to ‘Abdullaah bin ‘Amr bin al-‘Aas: “Are you the one who said this?” And ‘Abdullaah bin ‘Amr bin al-‘Aas replied in the affirmative. So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Indeed you do not have the ability to do so, fast and break your fast, sleep and stand (for prayer).” And then he told him: “And fast in the month three days because every good deed will be multiplied ten times. So it will be as if you have fasted your whole life.” So ‘Abdullaah bin ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما said: “I can do more than this. I can do better than this that you have recommended.” So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said to him: “Then fast a day and break your fast for two days.” So `Abdullaah bin ‘Amr said: “I can do more than this.” So he said: “Then fast one day and leave off fasting the next day because this is the fast of Dawood عليه سلام and this is the best fast.” So `Abdullaah bin ‘Amr said: “I can do more than this.” The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “There is nothing better than this.” And `Abdullaah bin ‘Amr رضي الله عنهما said: “Had I accepted those three days that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم commanded me with is more beloved to me.” (meaning that he wished that he had accepted just doing the three days instead of having to fast the fast of Dawood). He said that: “If I had accepted”, or “For me to have accepted the fasting of the three days of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is more beloved to me than my family and my wealth”.[8]
This hadeeth lays down a principle for every individual as it relates to his being lenient and gentle with himself. One must have lenience as it relates to three different categories.

  1. He must use gentleness as it relates to his religion, and that is one separate scale by itself.
  2. Then there is another scale that he has to use as it relates to gentleness in his worldly affairs.
  3. Then there is another scale that he uses as it relates to him having gentleness in weighing between the affairs of his Deen, and the affairs of this dunyaa, his worldly affairs. And this is as Allaah سبحانه وتعالى says in the Qur’aan:

وَابْتَغِ فِيمَا آتَاكَ اللَّهُ الدَّارَ الْآخِرَةَ وَلا تَنسَ نَصِيبَكَ مِنَ الدُّنْيَا

{But seek, with that (wealth) which Allaah has bestowed on you, the home of the Hereafter,
and forget not your portion of legal enjoyment in this world…}
[al-Qasas 28:77]

So as it relates to the scale of his Deen, then he has to travel a middle course. He has to be upon a middle course – a path that is just and a path that has gentleness as it relates to his Deen. This is so that he does everything that Allaah سبحانه وتعالى has commanded him with, and he does not leave off the things that Allaah سبحانه وتعالى commanded him with. Also, he does not put upon himself a burden that he cannot bear. Like trying to pray two hundred (200) raka’aat in one day, or like trying to read the Qur’aan from front to back or from cover to cover twice in one day. This is something that will be too much for the individual to maintain and continue in. So he has to use a scale in order that he does not overburden himself as it relates to his Deen.
Likewise, as it relates to the worldly affairs of this dunyaa, then he should not become busy with one affair at the expense of another. Meaning, that he is too busy dealing with one thing such that he cannot be responsible for the other things which he should be responsible for. This is whether it relates to his bodily needs, or to his family, or whether it relates to his responsibilities in general dealings with the Muslims – if in fact his work is in dealing with those things that are crucial to the Muslims.
Then you have the last scale, and that is the scale that deals with weighing the affairs of his Deen, and his dunyaa. He should not get so wrapped up or drowned in the affairs of his Deen, that he is negligent of that which will benefit him. That is, that he is negligent of himself, or he is negligent towards the people of his home. So he claims that he is doing (things for) the Deen, however he does not go out and seek provisions for his family and the likes of these types of things that create a lack of balance in his affair. Again we have a generalقاعدة (qaa’idah) or a general principle that must be used in the individual seeking to seek a middle course and seek gentleness as it relates to himself. And again, these three scales were as it relates to his Deen, his dunyaa, and then his Deen and his dunyaa. So one should not be excessive in this nor be negligent of his responsibility.
Conclusion with Great Points of Benefit with Regards to Being Gentle and Lenient with People as it Relates to the Affairs of the Deen
So the Shaykh حفظه الله went on to say that from the أدلة (adillah) the evidences, that point to this fact or that point to what we have established is that which has been narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه who said that: A Bedouin came and urinated in the Masjid. So the people raced to him in order to hit him. So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said to them: “Leave him, leave him, and pour a bucket of water over the place that he urinated because indeed you have been sent as people who are to make things easy and you were not sent as those to make things hard.” [9]
In this hadeeth we find that there is a manhaj, a particular way, a methodology that the داعي (daa’ee) or the caller should follow in calling to Allaah سبحانه وتعالى. That is because sometimes the one who is calling to Allaah سبحانه وتعالى he is going to command with good, and sometimes he is going to prohibit the evil. And if he is going to prohibit the evil, then he must have the ability to weigh the affair and to weigh the results. That is because when the individual is commanding with good, and forbidding the evil there may be a time where there is a conflict between the pros and the cons of what he is commanding with. So if there is some type of conflict, if there is some type of contradiction in the pros and the cons, the way it harms and benefits in that, then there are certain rules that must be followed. In general, there is a qaa’idah (principle) that says: to ward away the harm, takes precedence over bringing about good.

درء المفاسد مقدم على جلب المصالح

However, if you have a situation, and Inshaa’ Allaahu ta’aalaa, this will make it clearer:

  • Where you are calling to someone or you are preventing them from evil, but you believe that a greater evil will result from you preventing them from that evil then what takes precedence here is that you leave off preventing them from the evil because of the result of the greater evil.
  • The Shaykh حفظه الله went on to say that there are some rules: if when commanding with the good there are going to be two equal results, then one has the choice to either command the good or to leave it off.
  • So after that if there is a situation where in commanding the good, there will be something that will result in something better, then one should command the good. And if there is something that results in evil then he should leave it off because this takes precedence.
  • However, if there is a situation where the مفسدة (mafsadah) or the harm is equal in calling or not calling or in inviting and in not inviting, advising or not advising, then he has the choice. He has the choice of doing it or leaving it off.
  • And if in one of them the harm is greater, then he stays away from the harm that is greater. This is the greater precedence. That if something results in greater harm, that you leave it off.

In this hadeeth we find that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم gave precedence to the benefit over the angle of something that is harmful. And this is found in the statement where the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Indeed you have only been sent as one to make things easy; and you have not been sent to make things hard.” In general, using rifq (gentleness) in da’wah i.e. being lenient, brings good effects. This is whether those effects are immediate or whether they are a little bit after that, or whether they are far, or whether one has an objective that is a plan for something for the future. But in general, being lenient in giving da’wah has good effects. Likewise, being harsh in giving da’wah has negative effects whether those negative effects are immediate, or they may be somewhere along the middle, or they may be somewhere in the future.
As the Shaykh حفظه الله said, the point here is that this is the manhaj (methodology) that has to be followed by the one who is giving da’wah. He must look at the result of this action in the result of his da’wah. The Shaykh حفظه الله gave a whole lesson on القواعد الفقهية (al-Qawaa’id-ul-fiqhiyyah – The Fiqh Principles) as it relates to المفسدة (al-mafsadah) and المصلحة (al-maslahah) or harm and benefit. In general what should be understood from that principle is that: if the situation has two equal parts, then you have the choice to do the thing or to leave it off. But if there is a situation where you want to prevent someone from evil or you want to command them with good, and in the process of doing so, you cause a greater harm then you should not command them with the good or forbid them from evil if it is going to cause greater harm because this in itself becomes evil as it has brought about a greater evil. And of course this is why the Shaykh حفظه الله mentioned that the one who is giving da’wah (and in general any individual) has to think about the results of his action, and not jump into something without thinking about the result of what he is doing.
References
[1] Reported in Saheeh al-Bukhaaree, Vol. 5, Kitaab ad-Daawaat (#6038).

أن اليهود أتوا النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقالوا السام عليك قال وعليكم فقالت عائشة السام عليكم ولعنكم الله وغضب عليكم فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم مهلا يا عائشة عليك بالرفق وإياك والعنف أو الفحش قالت أو لم تسمع ما قالوا قال أو لم تسمعي ما قلت رددت عليهم فيستجاب لي فيهم ولا يستجاب لهم في

[2] Reported with the following wording in Saheeh Muslim, Vol. 4, Kitaab Al-Birr was-Silah wal-Aadaab (#2594).

إن الرفق لا يكون في شيء إلا زانه ولا ينزع من شيء إلا شانه

[3] Reported in Saheeh Muslim, Vol. 3, Kitaab al-Imarah (#1828)

سمعت من رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول في بيتي هذا اللهم من ولي من أمر أمتي شيئا فشق عليهم فاشقق عليه ومن ولي من أمر أمتي شيئا فرفق بهم فارفق به

[4] Reported in Saheeh al-Bukhaaree, Vol. 2, Kitaab as-Sawm (#5856).

كان النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم في مسير له فحدا الحادي فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ارفق يا أنجشة ويحك بالقوارير

[5] Reference Pending
[6] Reported by Muslim, Vol. 4, Kitaab Al-Birr was-Silah wal-Aadaab (#2592)

سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول من يحرم الرفق يحرم الخير

[7] Reference Pending
[8] Reported in Saheeh al-Bukhaaree, Vol. 2, Kitaab as-Sawm (#1876) and in Saheeh Muslim, Kitaab as-Siyaam (#1159)

بلغ النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أني أصوم أسرد وأصلي الليل فإما أرسل إلي وإما لقيته فقال ألم أخبر أنك تصوم ولا تفطر وتصلي الليل فلا تفعل فإن لعينك حظا ولنفسك حظا ولأهلك حظا فصم وأفطر وصل ونم وصم من كل عشرة أيام يوما ولك أجر تسعة قال إني أجدني أقوى من ذلك يا نبي الله قال فصم صيام داود عليه السلام قال وكيف كان داود يصوم يا نبي الله قال كان يصوم يوما ويفطر يوما ولا يفر إذا لاقى قال من لي بهذه يا نبي الله قال عطاء فلا أدري كيف ذكر صيام الأبد فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم لا صام من صام الأبد لا صام من صام الأبد لا صام من صام الأبد

[9] Reported in Saheeh al-Bukhaaree, Vol. 5, Kitaab al-Adab (#5777)

أن أعرابيا بال في المسجد فثار إليه الناس ليقعوا به فقال لهم رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم دعوه وأهريقوا على بوله ذنوبا من ماء أو سجلا من ماء فإنما بعثتم ميسرين ولم تبعثوا معسرين

source http://www.albaseerah.org/forum/showthread.php?t=2448

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